Being a parent is one of life’s most challenging roles. I thought I knew it all before my wife and I had children of our own. Now that we have two teen daughters, I realize I know nothing about parenting. Actually, that’s a little overstated. I have learned a thing of two about parenting over the years. I’ve just learned a lot of it the hard way. The best parenting advice I’ve found comes from the Bible – specifically Deuteronomy 6. This passage provides a solid approach to parenting:
Listen, Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD Is One. Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving to you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:4-9).
Walking and Talking
Parents are intended to be the primary developers of their children. That means providing for your teen’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. It also means using every opportunity that you can to talk with them about loving God.
Parents can’t be the primary spiritual developer of their kids without investing time in them. If biblical parenting involves teaching as you’re sitting, walking, lying down, and getting up, then parents and kids have to be together. If the Bible says teaching happens in the normal course of life, our course of life may need to be modified.
How Jesus Grew
Ever wonder what Jesus was like as a child and teen? Luke 2:52 gives us a glimpse. It also provides a great framework for our kids’ development. Based on this passage, here are the three areas in which we must help our children develop:
Favor with God: We want them to know God in a very real way. We want them to go beyond just knowing about Him to building a personal relationship with Him.
Wisdom and stature: We want our kids to own their faith. We want them to experience God in their everyday lives and recognize who they are in Christ.
Favor with man: We want our kids to make their faith known. One of the coolest things parents can experience is seeing their kids share Christ through the influence and relationships they build.
Step by Step
So what can you do to create a new normal as the primary spiritual developer of your kids? Here are some ideas:
Decide you will make your teen’s spiritual development your primary task. Seems basic, but unless you commit to this, it won’t happen.
Don’t try to be a super Christian. Just model that you know God, own your faith, and make your faith known.
Start small. Choose one day a week to eat dinner together and do a short devotional as a family. (LifeWay provides a free online devotional that is delivered by email twice a week. You can sign up to receive the Heart Connex Enews Devotional at www.lifeway.com/heartconnex.)
Pray for your kids every day. Pray that they will know God, own their faith, and make their faith known.
Be involved in your kids’ church activities. Don’t expect your youth ministry team to be the primary spiritual developer of your kid.
You will not create your new normal in a single day. The key is starting with a few actions that matter most – and being consistent. Let your kids hear you talk about God and what He is doing in your life. Let them hear you pray. Let them see and hear you share your story of His work in your life.
God has entrusted us enough to loan us our children and has also established a strong pattern for parenting in Deuteronomy 6. Accept His challenge. Help your kids know God, own their faith, and make their faith known. Future generations, including your grandchildren will be impacted by your children’s strong faith.
Paul Turner and his wife Sondra have two teen daughters, Shelbi and Morgan. In addition to his ministry to youth leaders across the country, Paul can usually be found training for a marathon.
